


What We See

by vahisa1975



Category: Thorki - Fandom
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 15:29:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2552528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vahisa1975/pseuds/vahisa1975
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After years of wanting his brother, Loki gets what he desires.  Unfortunately his past comes back to haunt him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What We See

What We See

 

Steam curled up and tickled Loki's nose from the hot water he was immersed in. Faint splashes waved against the walls of the bathtub from the movement of his hand as he stroked his cock slowly. His long fingers pinched and rubbed a pink nipple and a moan fell from his lips. He actually hated this, hated the way his brother made him feel. It was Thor's fault for being so perfect in every way. Today they had been standing outside in the training courtyard and the way the sun had shone off his golden hair, making it seem like a halo as he gave him that gorgeous smile, had instantly sent heat straight into his groin. The younger god had to fake an injury so he could leave and jump straight into his bath to relieve the pressure there. It had always been like this, Loki harboring feelings for the other man for most of their lives.

It wasn't like he hadn't tried to forget about Thor. Loki had dated so many men he couldn't remember them all. He knew he had a bad reputation, that everyone thought he was a whore. But only three had ever come close enough for him to try and have sex with. And then it had only been one time. One time that he'd given them anything they wanted, done whatever they asked. When the next time came up, he'd asked for one thing in return and even after his selflessness, he had been spurned, shunned, rejected. He'd been told he was a freak, a disgusting deviant and after the third time had finally accepted the truth. Yes, he was all of those things. Why else would he dream about his adopted brother in a sexual way? Why else would he have these feelings for him that never went away? He knew in his heart he loved Thor, it wasn't just that he wanted to fuck him. But it had to be wrong any way he looked at it. Since then he'd stayed away from everyone, but even now he heard stories of some new person he'd had sex with that he'd never met. It bothered him, but there was nothing he could do about it.

When he'd been old enough to understand, Odin had taken him aside and explained things to him. He was his son and he would always love him, but he'd been an abandoned baby frost giant that the king rescued. Queen Frigga had taught him how to change his appearance at will, but Loki never showed anyone except his parents his true form. Few even knew of his secret and they were not privy to see it. Not even Thor. He'd been told that he could get pregnant and bear children, but only if he had sex as a Jotun. Like this there was no possibility.

With a flick of his wrist, he sent pleasure soaring through his body. Pre cum bubbled out of the hole and lazily slid down the shaft, joining the moisture of the water he continued to spread over himself. He was just bringing the hand away from his nipple to find his entrance when there was a loud knocking at the outer door. It broke his concentration for a minute and made his heart race at the possibility of being discovered. But he was in the bathroom and no one would just walk in....the door to his chambers was thrown open. Loki cursed himself for not locking them. He'd been in such a hurry, he'd forgotten. He heard it slam shut and someone yell to him.

"Loki, are you alright?"

The prince thought he might die. Thor was in the other room and his cock was standing tall and hard. There was no way to hide it.

"I'm fine, I'm in the bathroom. Go away."

He was trying desperately to cover himself because he knew his brother never did what he was told. This time was no exception. The door banged against the wall as it was opened and the large god stepped in, looking as if he'd been invited.

"I said go away, you dolt!"

"I just wanted to make sure that you weren't hurt too badly."

The blonde was standing next to him and he could feel the color in his cheeks. Even if he hadn't failed in covering himself, just the way his hands were positioned over the member would have given it away. It took a few seconds but Thor seemed to get the idea, his blue eyes moving down Loki's naked torso to where he was only covering half of his erection. He didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't what happened. Thor's face softened into an expression he'd never seen before.

"Loki, by the gods, I never realized how amazingly beautiful you are."

He was sure his heart stopped somewhere in the middle of that sentence. It wasn't possible for the god of thunder to think he was beautiful. It just couldn't be. He jerked to the side a little as his brother knelt down next to the tub. Water splashed around and made a loud noise. Thor brought his eyes up to his face and all he saw was kindness in them.

"I'm not going to hurt you. You should know that."

Loki knew he would never physically hurt him, it was the emotional pain he was afraid of. The blonde let his fingers dip into the water, touching his chest lightly. The younger god was terrified and elated at the same time. He couldn't speak, it was like watching a train coming straight at him. All he could do was stare and hope the impending crash wasn't too horrible. Thor drew back, pulling his sleeve up above his elbow before bringing his hand back to feel along his ribs and muscles that covered his body. Loki's cock twitched under his fingers. He had dreamed of this and it was making him aroused in a way he'd never been before.

"What were you thinking about before I came up here?"

Thor's eyes shined at him as if he already knew. The smaller man was sure he did. He opened his mouth to come up with something, anything but the truth. But his brother beat him to it.

"Was it me Loki? Did you moan my name when I was gone?"

Loki's brain had never failed him before but now it was blank. He wanted to deny it, to say something clever that the other man would never see past, but there was nothing. Those rough, thick fingers moved down across his belly and to where his hands were still trying to cover himself. The blonde moved both of them away and he couldn't even resist him.

"If it wasn't me, tell me to stop and I'll leave."

Thor wasn't looking at his face any longer, he was staring unabashedly at his hard cock. Pink flushed his whole body at the intensity of that gaze. 

"I want to watch you. Let me help."

He lifted one of Loki's hands and held it under his own, wrapping them both around his pulsing pole. Thor started to stroke along the length of it but it was the pale, slender fingers that actually pressed against the flesh. It was the most erotic thing the younger man had ever seen and it wasn't long before he was gasping, a strangled cry in his throat as he released into the warm water.

The pale god felt his brother's lips on his cheek, they were soft and pliant, not rough like the beard that scratched against his skin. But every part of it sent tingles through him. Loki wanted to scream at his mind to start working again. Thor placed a row of kisses across his face to his ear where he took the bottom between his teeth and nibbled softly. Another moan came out of his throat. It felt so wonderful and he was having trouble believing it was the man he'd always wanted.

"I want you Loki. I know it seems wrong, but we're not really brothers, are we?"

He could hear the pleading in the blonde's voice. They both wanted this so much and his brother was asking for permission, wanting him to tell him it was alright. There was no way he could deny him. No one else would understand, but no one else needed to know.

"We're not," he managed to choke out.

It was worth it to see the light in those amazing blue eyes. Making Thor happy always sparked a similar feeling in his own chest. He was given another kiss to the side of his head.

"If you want me too, I'll be waiting in the bedroom," the other man whispered, standing up and leaving him as he stared, his mouth hanging open.

He had never imagined this day would come and his mind refused to accept it. Loki had to sit there until the water went cold before he realized he better get moving or he was going to lose his only opportunity. Where he'd been inactive before, now he had a sudden surge of adrenaline and he jumped from the water, drying himself quickly. There was a moment of hesitation as he stood in front of the door, his hand hovering over the knob. Everything would change and be different from this moment on. A big smile burst over him. Finally the longing and hurt would be gone. He didn't dare remind himself how quickly Thor's affections changed from one person to the next. It was time for him to live his fantasies.

Loki pushed the door open and had to catch himself on the jamb at the picture in front of him. His brother's perfectly golden skin was uncovered completely, showing him every muscle and line of his body. There was no hair except for a small amount around the base of his cock and it was the same stunning gold as the locks on his head. He had to lick his lips at how dry his mouth had gone suddenly. And that smile. God, that cocky, shining smile that always tore through him. Thor could see what he did to him just by standing there completely undressed. It brought a mixture of hate and love out of him that was so exquisitely sweet and painful at the same time. 

"I thought you would never come out of there."

The graceful movements of a perfectly put together god made his breath catch as the larger man moved toward him. His large hands rested on Loki's shoulders before sliding to his neck and hair.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked in a shaky breath.

"More than anything. I've never wanted anyone so much."

Love swelled inside him more than before and like always, it made him hate the blonde for making him feel that way.

"I don't believe you," he said, his eyes narrowing .

"You don't have to," Thor told him, pulling him close so his lips could finally taste the other.

Everything up to this point in his life no longer mattered. Nothing would ever match this experience, nothing could compare to the joy that came over him. His brother was kissing him, possessing him and claiming him. Loki wanted to cry from happiness. A strong tongue parted his lips, pressing inside his mouth. Their wet muscles slid together, tasting each other and fighting for dominance. The younger man's arms circled the thick neck automatically, bringing their bodies against each other. Skin pressed together and Loki was panting already into the blonde's mouth.

The long kiss ended and Thor gave him another small one, breaking the contact slowly. His eyes opened and he didn't even know they'd been closed until that second. He gazed into the blue pools, trying to understand how this happened. How it was still happening. His mind finally kicked in and reminded him not to let the other man see anything more than basic desire. He couldn't know how he felt or it might make him leave. That was something he couldn't handle even thinking about. A large hand closed around his and he was led to the bed where he was gently pushed to sit on the edge. Loki looked back up to Thor's face, confusion and longing written in his features.

"Are you having second thoughts?" the blonde asked him and the younger god shook his head no quickly.

"Then what?"

His brother sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders and starting to kiss along the length of his neck. More hot tingles spread from there, going straight through him.

"I just keep thinking you're playing some kind of trick on me. At any second you're going to have someone jump out and catch us or tell me how stupid I was to think you could ever want to do this."

There was a small pause as Thor's forehead rested against the bottom of his jaw. A warm hand cupped his cheek, turning his face toward the handsome man. He looked at Loki, sadness in his eyes. 

"I swear, I fully intend to ravish you. There's no doubt how much I want you. Can't you tell?"

The hand left his face and reached down to pick his up, placing it on the god of thunder's hard cock. Until that moment, he hadn't even noticed the other man's arousal. Surprise colored his face but soon melted under another beautiful kiss. He berated himself, deciding to stop playing mind games. This was happening, actually happening and he needed to take full advantage. He had to make it count. 

His fingers curled around that hot skin and began to stroke over the surface. He tried to memorize every dip and swell, the way each movement of his fingers caused a reaction. Thor seemed intent on mouthing every inch of his skin, stopping to lick and suck at any spot that caught his attention. It didn't take long before they were both breathing heavily. Loki's own member was back at full attention when hot lips closed over his nipple. A wet tongue flicked against the nub, making him gasp. He let his free hand that had been holding him up curl around the broad shoulders and slide into the blonde mane. There was a small shift as Thor held his weight with the arm that was already circling him. 

Those lips continued to work on his nipple, nibbling and sucking on it when suddenly he felt heat on his hard pole. The other man gripped his length and while he didn't have the finesse his own slender fingers did, the sheer power and force that was used had him whimpering helplessly at the onslaught of all the desire hitting him. He heard a deep chuckle somewhere in that fog of passion that had him panting helplessly again.

"Slow down brother. I want to make this last."

A sliver of anger shot through him, making him want to tell the oaf off even if it was true. He couldn't help it if the other man brought out every deep longing inside of him. Loki supposed he should be grateful Thor didn't want it to be over quickly, just using him and throwing him aside. But it did sting his pride that he was so close to releasing a second time already. The only answer he could give was a growl. The blonde released his pulsing cock and ran a thumb over Loki's lips.

"I never knew how sweet you tasted."

His brother replaced his thumb with his mouth, kissing him hard and long. A mewling sound came from his throat as he melted into that embrace. The second their lips parted, he was pushed back onto the soft mattress, the other man climbing over him. He was scooted back until they were both on the bed, the top of his head hitting against the pillows. Anticipation made his breathing turn shallow and adrenaline pierced him, making every part of him tingle. He wasn't sure what Thor had in mind next but he was positive he was going to enjoy it.

"I'm going to prepare you for me," he told him, gazing down into Loki's green eyes.

"Try not to cum," he added with a smirk, slipping down his body.

The younger god would have hit him if he could have reached him. His brother knew him well enough to get out of range before making a remark like that.

"You're lucky I don't kick you," he muttered, eliciting another chuckle from the big body.

Almost out of spite, Thor licked along the shaft of his cock, making him breath in sharply. 

"You're not helping," he whined.

There was another laugh and then hot moisture covered his balls. A loud moan came out of him and his body jerked up in a small arch. At this rate he wasn't going to have a choice in the matter. Thankfully the other man didn't linger there long but instead licked down to his entrance. He could feel it quivering already, begging for that thick muscle to penetrate him and prepare him to be possessed completely. Only the tip brushed against the hole, lightly, causing him to jump again. There was another laugh from Thor and he could tell this was amusing him. Then a full swipe went over him and Loki felt dribbles of pre cum slide out. He hummed at finally feeling some progress.

"Like that do you?"

"Shut up," he snapped back.

There was more silent laughter given away by the shaking of the bed. This time Thor concentrated on that spot, wetting it on the outside, then forcing his tongue in. Loki's hands fisted into the sheets and his already aching cock twitched. Moist and strong, the blonde used that muscle to fill him. Then he pulled it back and pushed in with it again. Something close to a sob of pleasure came out of him. Loki's toes curled and his knuckles were white where they held onto the blanket under him.

"T...Tho...." he choked out just as he couldn't hold on any longer.

White, sticky cum flowed out of him, spraying up and landing on his belly. His eyes were fixated on the ceiling as his jumbled thoughts tumbled back down and clicked into place. Loki's muscles jumped on their own as a wet tongue licked up from his bottom, along the crease of his thigh, and over his spent cock. When he realized Thor was licking up all of his release, he moaned again. While he had dreamed about this, his brother was even more incredible than he'd imagined. The other man continued to draw hot designs on his body, working up to his parted lips that desperately sucked in air.

"I thought I told you not to cum," the blonde said with a smirk, kissing him senseless all over again.

He could taste the salty flavor coating the god of thunder's mouth and found himself curling his limbs around the bigger man's body. His legs wrapped around the tapered waist and his hands threaded into the messy hair. 

"It's not like you gave me a choice," he muttered between long, passionate kisses.

It was true he hadn't believed Thor when he said he wanted him more than anyone. But his brother was quickly changing his mind. Loki had never been so thoroughly kissed and touched before. Every inch of his skin was carrassed and embraced while their mouths spoke volumes about desire and need. The blonde was patient and sensual, slowly coaxing his body back into a state of arousal. He knew deep inside he didn't deserve this but there was no denying how much he craved it. The other man's hard member pressed against him and he never once tried to gratify himself. It wasn't until the younger of the two was ready that Thor made his way south again.

"Let's try this again, shall we?" he asked, amusement and lust mixed clearly in his voice.

Loki's only response was a light groan of delight as those lips skimmed over his groin, licking at his cock and scrotum. For the second time, his rear entrance was moistened and his thighs shook with the effort of holding himself still. He was entered by the skillful tongue and it pushed as far as it could go before stopping and coming back. A slight sheen of sweat covered his skin and his fingers found the pink buds of his nipples. A cool breeze seemed to hit his wet hole as his brother removed his muscle from his inner walls. It signaled something more and hopefully better to come. Thor moved over him again, capturing his lips and sucking on his tongue.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked sincerely, bumping his nose against Loki's.

"More than ready," the dark haired god whispered.

The blonde took hold of his cock and guided it into his waiting tunnel. It went in slowly, every inch filling him and making him writhe as his fingers dug into the other man's shoulders. He thought he'd been breathing hard before but now every breath was a gasp and his body burned as it adjusted. This couldn't have been his brother's first time, he knew exactly how to enter him and hold him so there was hardly any pain. There were hundreds of kisses and his nipples were teased, making him forget about any discomfort.

"You're much tighter than I expected," Thor told him breathily.

"Let me know if I hurt you."

Loki couldn't talk if he wanted to. Instead he encouraged the god of thunder to move by tilting his hips and sliding slightly against him.

"Oh Loki, you want me so much, don't you?"

"Y..yes Thor. Get on with it."

He was given another fierce kiss, this one full of even more passion than before. The blonde pulled back and thrust into him quickly. It was more than he'd expected and his body arched again. Blue eyes sparkled, seeing how he enjoyed it and the other man thrust into him the same way another time. Loki responded with another bowing of his back, trying to get closer so he could feel him deeper. 

"I like the way you do that," Thor told him, running his fingers down the god of mischief's pale chest.

Now that he'd tasted that huge cock plunging inside and brushing his prostate, the younger man was aching for more.

"Don't stop," he begged.

His brother's eyes flickered up with mirth dancing in them.

"I won't. Not until you're full of my seed dripping between your thighs."

Loki moaned and tilted his pelvis up again. Thor positioned himself, his elbows on either side of the dark haired man's shoulders and he started to rock his hips slowly, moving carefully until the inside of his brother's body was loosened enough to let him thrust faster. He could feel the head of his cock bob between their bodies, brushing delightfully against soft skin. His brain told him this couldn't be real but every nerve was on fire, pleasure and ecstasy rushing over him. Lips kissed along his shoulder and neck, moving to his jaw and licking at his ear. Pre cum came out of him again and he was in the most amazing place he could ever hope for. Trapped under the blonde, his cock buried deep inside him and making him close to exploding all over them both.

"Does it feel good Loki?" he heard against the shell of his ear.

"Yes...ugh....yes Thor!" he cried out.

Soon his brother was slamming into him rhythmically, his balls slapping against Loki's ass. The younger god gasped and moaned, making soft noises of pleasure. He released the sheet to grip the strong waist of his lover, pushing him closer and deeper. The bouncing of his cock between their bodies was making him throb with need.

"I can't...much longer.." he stuttered.

The other man understood what he was saying and kissed his lips gently.

"Yes, I want to feel it. Show me how much you like my cock inside you."

He fought it for a few more minutes, Thor's hard length stretching his sensitive walls, each section that was touched blossoming in new waves of never ending satisfaction. They clung to each other, both pushing toward a pinnacle of release. Loki's hit suddenly, the build up quick and intense. Before he knew it he was shuddering and spasming, his muscles out of control as his sticky liquids poured out of him. He heard a loud grunt and one last hard thrust as the blonde's spend shot into his body, filling him and leaking out.   
Strong arms stayed around him, holding him close as they panted heavily. Their skin was slick with juices and sweat and Loki could feel the drips as they fell onto him and ran down his body to land on the bed underneath. 

It was now that Thor was soft and pliant against him that he dared to touch and feel the way he wanted to. Loki's lips pressed against the short, coarse beard on the other man's jaw, tasting the unique flavor of his skin and perspiration. He let his long fingers slide against the damp skin of his back and shoulders while kissing all over his face and neck. After a few minutes, the blonde chuckled and rolled off from him, keeping his arm around him and pulling him against his chest.

"You are truly a wonder brother," the god of thunder told him.

"Until today I never thought about doing this with you. Now that I have, I can't think of anything else."

His green eyes shot up to the handsome face in shock.

"You can't be serious."

"But I am. What do you think? Would you be willing to have only me in your bed? If either of us finds another we prefer, we'll end it."

Loki's heart began to beat faster and harder. He knew he would never want another but what about when Thor did? Was he willing to pass up this time that could be spent with him until then? He could see two options, never taking this chance and regretting it or taking this chance and regretting it. At least if he went for it, he would have the small amount of precious time with the man he loved. 

"You performed satisfactorily today. I think I could have you as my lover for awhile."

His brother laughed at how he tried to sound aloft.

"Well, thank you, your majesty."

A grin cracked his features before he tried to look serious again. But Thor didn't let him, he began to tickle his ribs.

"What are you...no, Thor, stop.." he cackled.

The sounds of both their laughter floated to the ceiling, filling Loki's room and heart with happiness.

*****************************************************************

Thor was, as expected, a wonderful lover. Not only were their nights filled with passionate love making, but he went out of his way to show Loki how much he cared about him. He had presents made for him and often brought him flowers and sweets. For the younger brother, he seemed to be in a perpetual dream that he never wanted to wake up from. They kept their relationship a secret, afraid of what others would say. Three months into their agreement, the blonde was assigned to go to Vanaheim for two weeks by Odin. The people of the realm were having difficulty with bandits and he was being sent to help. Loki didn't go to the king directly, but he pleaded with Frigga to convince the Allfather that he should accompany them. She tried to put the idea into her husband's head, but he was afraid the god of mischief was too unpredictable to risk on a mission like this. So he had no choice but to bid his lover a long good bye the night before. They were both awake when the first rays of dawn shown in through the window.

"Promise you'll come back to me in one piece," he purred at the blonde, twisting his hair around his finger.

"Aye, you know I will," Thor told him, kissing his forehead.

"Promise me you'll wait for me. I don't want anyone warming your bedsheets except for myself."

Anger bubbled inside Loki at the insinuation. They'd had this conversation before. He knew his brother thought he was looking for someone else or ready to drop him for the next attractive man that acted interested. To be honest, he worried the same thing, but he never outright accused him of it.

"If I was going to replace you, I would have done it by now," he huffed.

"So you keep telling me. Then my request will be far easier to keep."

The younger god rolled his eyes and snuggled against the large chest.

"You're truly thick headed, you know that."

"Perhaps. But I don't want anyone touching what I consider mine."

He didn't show it in any way, but Loki's heart leapt at that comment. All he wanted from life was to belong to his brother. If only he could believe he felt the same. Thor left that day and he didn't go to see him off. He knew his emotions would show and give away how much he hated to see the other man leave. They'd already discussed it and the blonde was expecting him not to be there. For two weeks the god of mischief kept to his chambers. The only time he left was to visit Heimdall and find out that the other man was alright. This was just a small taste of what life without his lover would be like and he hated it. Every minute went by slowly and painfully. It was only the anticipation of seeing him again that made him hold on and get through every day. 

Finally the time came for Thor to return and he stood on his balcony, watching anxiously for the lights of the bifrost. They appeared suddenly, bright and colorful, the whooshing sound that accompanied them resounding faintly to where he was. Loki's hands were sweating and his heart racing. Soon he would be back in his brother's arms and he could be happy and complete again. He watched the rainbow bridge diligently and after what seemed to be forever, saw the dark forms of people on horses. Nervously, he went into his room and straightened the already spotless furniture and pillows. He looked for anything that might be out of place and when he was satisfied, sat on the edge of the bed.

What had to be an hour passed and he was still sitting there, waiting. Loki couldn't stand the uncertainty and started to pace anxiously. Where was he? He knew Thor was alive and on his way back from talking to the gate keeper. Fear trickled into his heart but he didn't know what from. Had his brother found someone else? Was he just too exhausted to see him? He didn't know and it was driving him crazy. Being too wound and upset, Loki didn't fall asleep until almost morning. When he woke up, it was late afternoon and still there was no sign of the other man.

The god sat up and for the first time, let tears slip down his cheeks. Something had to have happened. Just what he didn't know, but he would find out. He cried softly for a short time before convincing himself he was just being stupid. Thor had been fighting bandits for weeks, he was probably still sleeping in his room. Loki decided to wait until dark to visit him.

That night he was freshly bathed and dressed nicely as he made his way down the corridor to Thor's chambers. His stomach felt like a ball of knots and everything was sweating from nerves. Stopping outside the door, he forced himself to knock. Then he fidgeted as he stood there waiting. There was no answer and he drew on what was left of his courage to knock again.

"Come in if you must," he heard a gruff voice call out.

Trepidation made his hand shake as he turned the handle, pushing the door open. The other man was there, sitting in a chair with a tankard of mead in his hand. The second he saw Loki, he put it down and sat forward, his eyes shining in a disturbing way.

"Ah, I was wondering when you would make an appearance. What brings you here brother? Your lovers not satisfying you?"

There was no way to describe what happened to him at that moment. He'd done nothing wrong and yet still, here it was. The fates seemed out to get him, to make him as miserable as they could. He could see Thor was convinced he'd done something and didn't know what to say to make him believe him.

"I..I don't know what.." he whispered.

"Don't lie to me!" the blonde yelled, slamming the mead down from where he'd picked it up again.

Loki flinched and fought the tears coming to his eyes. He had to be strong, didn't he?

"I asked you for one thing! One thing Loki!"

The big body lurched from the chair and started toward him, making him back away.

"I gave it to you!" he cried out desperately.

"You gave me nothing! I knew what a whore you were, but I still gave you a chance."

He was backed against a wall and Thor surrounded him, his hands on the wall, caging him. Pain cascaded over him, making his mind blank. He'd been called that name a hundred times but it never hurt so much as now.

"I didn't....I was here...waiting."

"You still keep lying. Do you even know how to speak the truth?"

Loki was shaking as the warm, mead scented breath washed over his face. He had to pull himself together, he had to convince his brother he was innocent. In a burst of anger, he pushed at the strong chest and managed to make him stumble back.

"I'm telling the truth. Who do you think you are to accuse me?"

Thor looked surprised, then angry.

"I have every right! I had the misfortune of running into your latest fling last night. I heard everything."

The younger god's green eyes widened with shock. He'd done no such thing. The blonde just scoffed and turned away from him.

"You're disgusting. Get out of here Loki and don't come back."

He wanted to argue his point further, but those words.....he'd heard them before. And they cut into him just like every other time. There wasn't any thing he could say, he could see his brother's mind was made up. He was a whore and now the man he'd given everything to believed it. So many tears filled his eyes he couldn't see and he groped for the door handle. He had to get away from him before he broke into a million pieces. Loki truly believed his brother would just step on those pieces and grind him into the floor. Somehow he left there and ran down the dark corridor to his room. He couldn't remember any of it and found himself balled up in a corner of his bedroom hours later. The memories came back fresh and made him scream with the pain that hit him. 

*********************************************************************

The battles had been brutal. Bandits were vicious and had nothing to lose so they fought fiercely and without mercy. Thor was exhausted but glad his friends had been by his side. He knew they were instrumental in turning the tides to their favor. But all he cared about was getting back to see his brother. He thought about Loki all the time. His soft, raven hair against the pale, beautiful skin was enough to take his breath away. As if that weren't enough, those green eyes haunted his mind, making him miss the other man so badly that he felt a piece of his soul was gone.

The day to return came after an eternity of loneliness and although his body ached, he moved with a swiftness the others could barely match. Thor was packed and at the head of the procession that made it's way to the bifrost site. The familiar pull caught him up and there was a smile pasted to his lips. He was going to see the man he'd fallen in love with. It had been one of those things he'd never told Loki, but maybe now he would. After being away from him for so long, he knew for sure he didn't want anyone else.  
They stepped into the golden dome of the gate keeper and Fandral grabbed his arm. Thor looked over curiously before Volstagg took his other arm. Laughing, he demanded to know what they were doing.

"You never come out with us anymore. We need to celebrate this victory," the swordsman told him with a grin.

The big red head nodded in agreement and he was torn. As much as he wanted to get back to Loki, he owed them this.

"Alright, but only for a few hours. Maybe you don't feel the exertion of battle, but I'm exhausted."

They laughed and climbed on the horses that were waiting, heading into the city for an inn to have drinks at. It was a random tavern they chose and the inside was dimly lit. But he remembered the name of it. The Broken Horse, it had been called. He was well into his third tankard when some men arrived, sitting at the table right behind his. Thor's friends were loud but he could hear the conversation the other men were having clearly.

"How was that maiden you took home? Was she as wild as she looked?" a medium sized man with brown hair asked his companion.

There was a chuckle and the other man answered. He was stocky with short, dark hair.

"You bet she was. I've had better though."

"Really? And who have you been with that was more wild than her?"

There was a pause as he took a drink.

"Have you heard the rumors about the prince? Loki, I mean."

"No way!" his friend exclaimed.

"You did not have sex with him."

"I did, just two days ago actually."

Thor hadn't realized his fingers were crushing the handle of his cup until the whole thing collapsed and spilled on the table. His friends exclaimed loudly but he didn't notice. The blonde had just stormed out of there and went to his room. He knew it was only a matter of time before his brother showed up and he spent all of it drinking to keep away the pain that threatened to cripple him. Everyone had heard about Loki's sexual exploits but he'd never really believed it. That just proved what a fool he was. 

It gave him no pleasure to know he was right. The second he saw the other man, everything snapped inside him. Thor had loved him, given him all that he was. Just to be betrayed and his heart thrown aside. He'd been more cruel than he planned, but it was just the pain coming out of him. Loki ran from him and he'd fallen to his knees, sobbing into his hands. Sometime during the night he'd passed out from either the alcohol or lack of sleep, he wasn't sure which. His head throbbed and he felt like the bottom of a dirty mead mug.

The prince sat in his bathtub later that day, a void in his chest. His eyes never left the wall and he had no idea how long he was in there. But something didn't feel right. His mind kept playing the conversation with Loki over and over. He also kept thinking about what he'd overheard that night at the inn. It was possible that man was lying, but why? Why would he mention Loki specifically? Frustrated, he ran his hand through his hair and climbed out of the tub. The only way he would find answers was to go and get them.

Thor dressed and slipped from the palace, not letting anyone know where he was going. He went to The Broken Horse and settled into a corner, this time ordering a stew instead of mead. The blonde had had enough of drinking for a long time. As he hoped, that man showed up a few hours later. This time he was alone and settled smugly into a spot with his own liquor. He watched for a while, but nothing about his behavior told him much. Faced with no other option, he got up and took the seat across from the man. Black eyes glanced up at him.

"Can I help you?"

Thor smiled grimly at him.

"Do you know who I am?"

The other man squinted at him, then recognition lit his face.

"Prince Thor! Apologies, I never expected to see you here."

"It's no matter. I have a question for you."

"Of course, anything."

"I happened to be in this inn a few days ago. And while I was here, I heard that you'd slept with my brother recently. Is that true?"

The face across from him paled and the man swallowed nervously.

"Well, yes. You aren't going to hurt me, are you?"

Thor stared at him coldly.

"You wouldn't lie to me, would you?"

The other fidgeted and looked like he wanted to run.

"Look, what difference does it make? He sleeps with everyone, why come after me?"

The god couldn't take it anymore and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.

"Watch what you say, little man. You better know for a fact that he sleeps with everyone before spreading something like that."

His victim flailed and tried to get free of his grip.

"That's what I've heard. Please, please, let me go."

Thor released him, pushing him back as he did.

"This is the last time I'm going to ask you. And if I find out you're lying, I'm going to make you pray for death."

The smaller man rubbed at his neck from where his shirt had pulled against it.

"Fine, I didn't have sex with him," he said with a glare.

"I was just trying to show off to my friend. Everyone uses him when they want to make themselves look like they've had a wild night of sex. With the stories that go around about him, it isn't hard."

It was difficult to stop himself from punching the little weasel in the face. He'd treated Loki like a common slut and hurt him because this man wanted to look like he'd scored with one of the princes.

"I think it's time to start a new tradition. If I hear of anyone spreading this rumor any more, I'm going to come after them and they will feel the wrath of Mjolnir. Do I make myself clear?"

The stranger gulped and nodded.

"Now, tell me everyone you've heard these stories from. I have some visits to make."

Thor spent the next two days travelling to the houses of all of Loki's ex boyfriends. He'd had sex with none of them, save three. And when he met the ones his brother had considered worthy, his heart melted. They were all large and muscular with long blonde hair. It made the god of thunder feel even lower than dirt. He talked to the first two and they gave him the same story. Hating himself even more, the god of thunder knocked on the door of the last one. His name was Svern and he was a blacksmith.

The door opened and he felt like he was looking almost into a mirror. Their features were a little different, but the man resembled him greatly. The other blonde invited him in and he sat down at the table across from the prince.

"What do I owe the honor of a visit from you?" he asked politely.

"You dated my brother at one time, yes?"

Svren nodded.

"But that was a long time ago. Why are you here now?"

"I need to clarify some things. I'm sure you know there are a lot of rumors about him."

The blacksmith made a face.

"I've heard. It makes me glad things didn't work out with us."

The blonde had been fighting the urge to hit people so much lately, he didn't have to put much effort into it this time.

"Why did you break up?"

A faint blush colored the other man's cheeks and he looked embarrassed.

"You don't want to know. Trust me, you don't."

Thor fingered his hammer and made sure Loki's ex could see he wasn't in the mood for games.

"I assure you, I do."

The blacksmith held out his hands with a sigh.

"If you insist. He wanted me to let him call me Thor when we had sex. I told him he was a disgusting freak and to never come back. Maybe I was a little harsh, but that was just too much for me."

The blonde's teeth gritted together and he had to separate them so he could go on.

"How many times did you have sex with him?"

His voice was strangled and the other man looked at him strangely.

"Just once. The first time was great, he did everything I wanted. But the second time...well..you know.."

He stood up quickly.

"Thank you," he said simply, heading for the door, slamming it behind him.

Svern's story matched the others exactly. Now that he knew the truth, Thor didn't feel any better. He felt worse. His whole life, Loki had been looking to replace him. He'd given himself to those men hoping for even just the privilege of saying his name while they fucked him. And he'd believed all the stories and rumors just like everyone else. He accused him of being with someone else when he hadn't. Thor hadn't slept much in the last few days, but he knew he had to try and make this right.

*******************************************************************

Loki hadn't moved from his spot in the corner. There was no point to any of it any more. Even when he didn't do anything wrong, he still lost everything. He was vaguely aware that two days had passed because he could see onto the balcony and the sun was replaced by the moon twice. Sleep had come off and on and when he woke this time, he saw a beautiful , huge moon hanging in the sky. It eased the pain just the slightest bit and he couldn't take his eyes away from it. Hours passed and he felt drawn to it, his body moving for the first time. His limbs were stiff and hurt as the blood circulated through them, but he didn't notice. Loki stood on his balcony, staring at the large orb hanging in the sky. This was what he wanted to be the last thing he ever saw. He wanted something so amazing and breath taking to fill his vision and then for it all to be over. 

The god climbed onto the rail, standing on it and trying to keep his balance. He knew why he was doing this, but he lied to himself. He told himself it was just to be closer to the shining orb and he even reached out to try and grab it. But it didn't work and he couldn't bring himself to take that last step. Instead, he got back down and stood there, trying to decide what to do. It was then he heard a knock on his door. He looked slightly in that direction, not interested.

"Loki, please, open the door. I was wrong and I know the truth."

Thor's voice was muffled and even though a part of him knew that it was the man he loved out there, he still couldn't bring himself to care. The truth about what? He didn't know any more and just stood there. His eyes went back to the moon and he stared at it some more. So beautiful.

"Loki, open the door! I'm not leaving until I see you!"

Sighing, he shuffled in that direction. It wasn't like the other man could hurt him any more, was it? He pulled it open and stared vacantly at the blonde. It was just like looking at the moon. Beautiful. Only now he felt pain stirring in his chest. Loki didn't like it and went to shut the door but his brother stopped him.

"What do you want?" he asked, going to sit on the bed.

It reminded him of waiting for Thor to return from his trip and he stood up quickly. His brother came in, shutting the door behind him. There was a look of guilt and pain on his face.

"I'm sorry Loki, I know you didn't do it. I made that man tell me the truth."

"What man? Thor, just leave me alone. If you didn't want to be with me, you didn't have to make all of this up. You could have just told me."

Big hands gripped his shoulders and he hadn't even heard the other man coming toward him.

"Get off from me!" he screamed, pushing away from his brother.

Loki stumbled and caught himself on the wall. He turned to look at Thor like he was a predator coming for him.

"Please, can't you forgive me? Isn't there anything I can do to make this up to you? I'll do anything."

He could see the tears in the blue eyes and it made him want to laugh. Anything? What was the most ridiculous thing he could ask for? His mind wound through twisted tunnels formed by the pain that had tormented him.

"Give me a child."

"What?"

His brother looked at him like he'd lost his mind. Maybe he had. He scoffed and turned away from the blonde.

"You lie."

"I didn't say no. If that's what you want, I don't care. I'll do it."

His head spun back with a look of hatred.

"You can't you big, stupid, moronic, ridiculous, fat headed, brainless..."

"Please, stop. I get the point. Why can't I?"

"Because," he told him, pacing closer with fire in his eyes.

"The only way to do it is in my Jotun form and you can't touch me like that. Although now that I think about it, I should have let you try and laughed as your dick fell off."

Thor looked helpless and confused and Loki loved it. He could feel the sane part of him trying to break through, but he wouldn't let it. This was so much better than being in pain. Or being in love. Same thing really.

"Loki, this isn't you. Did I hurt you so badly? I'm so sorry."

His brother looked broken and it made him laugh out loud this time.

"Go away. You disgust me. And don't come back."

He turned his back to the blonde and found himself engulfed in those huge arms.

"No, I can't leave you. Not like this."

Thor's voice was soft, caressing him and it made him angry.

"Let me go!"

Loki struggled against him but it was like fighting iron. His brother's lips almost touched his ear as he whispered to him.

"Come back to me. I was wrong. I love you."

"No!" he screamed, fighting the wave inside him that threatened to make him remember it all.

The other man held onto him until he couldn't move any more. His chest was heaving and he was angry. Thor kissed his cheek and rubbed his beard against his face.

"Remember how it feels to be in my arms? You love only me. You want only me. I'm here Loki. I'm waiting for you."

His heart broke and he was back, sobbing as the blonde held him up. Now that he had his mind back, he realized he'd put a spell on himself, locking everything away. It hadn't been intentional but instinctual to keep from hurting himself.

"Please let me go," he pleaded.

Thor released him and he would have fallen into a heap on the floor, but his brother caught him.

"Loki, my sweet Loki, I'm so sorry."

He could feel himself picked up and set onto the bed. There were kisses placed to his face and head but he pushed the blonde away.

"No, Thor, no."

The bigger man stopped and stared at him confused.

"What's wrong?"

Loki sat up and glared at him through his tears.

"I can't just forgive you. You believed some stranger over me. And I know it's because you think I'm a slut. You think I sleep with everyone. I can't be with you if you believe that about me."

"But I don't think that. I talked to everyone you've ever dated and I know the truth. I know what happened and that you didn't sleep with them all."

Horror crept over his face and it didn't help Thor's confusion.

"How dare you? You went back and looked into my private life?"

"But...I...needed to know...."

The younger god scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up.

"Get out of here. If you really loved me, you would have known. You would have believed me. But you didn't," he said, breaking into fresh tears.

The blonde stood there, his hands out, wanting to stop this.

"What can I do?"

"I don't know Thor. Why don't you give me a baby?" he asked sarcastically, remembering their conversation when he'd been out of his mind.

"If that's what you want, I would do it."

"What part of you can't, didn't you understand. You really are pathetically stupid."

"I'm pathetically in love. I hurt you and I'll do anything to make it better."

Loki rolled his eyes and face palmed. He just wanted to be alone.

"You wouldn't even be able to bring yourself to touch me. You've never seen my Jotun form."

"Then show me."

His heart skipped and he stared at his brother.

"No."

Thor stepped toward him and put his hands on Loki's arms.

"Yes. Give me a chance."

Those words echoed at him. His brother had told him he'd given him a chance even when he thought he was sleeping around. It was true and he owed it to him. 

"Fine. But then you go."

"Alright, I will."

Loki was exhausted but he drew on his magic to change his appearance back to his natural form. His eyes were closed as he performed the spell and when he opened them, the world looked different. Jotun vision was different from the Asgardians. They could see different parts of the light spectrum. It had something to do with the red color of their eyes. But what he saw made him pause. There was a look of amazement on the other man's face. And he could see love there. No one had ever had that expression while looking at him like this. Not even his parents. Thor reached toward him and he backed away.

"Are you trying to burn yourself?"

The blonde hair waved as he shook his head no.

"Let me touch you."

He was tired of fighting with him. If he was stupid enough to hurt himself, then let him. Loki stood motionless, watching as those pink fingers made their way toward him. He could feel the heat radiating off from them before they even touched his skin and then there was the faintest brush of flesh. Thor didn't pull back or cry out in pain. Incredible warmth soaked into him from the press of fingers against his cheek. His brother smiled through tears.

"I can touch you Loki. And it doesn't hurt."

The prince had no idea how it was possible but he could see the happiness in the other man's face. 

"I don't understand."

"We're meant for each other. You were made for me and I belong to you."

It felt like the first time they'd made love, it was so hard to accept. Thor had no problem with it and pulled him close, holding him and kissing him. Loki's arms went around the large body and soon they were both crying out of joy.

"I'm sorry I doubted you, I promise it will never happen again."

Big hands framed his face and he was kissed again.

"Now why don't we get working on that baby?"

Loki gasped and tried to pull back, startled.

"I don't really want one."

"I do," Thor said with a smile full of promises.

"But...."

"Shhh.." he kissed him again and got down on one knee in front of him.

"Loki Laufeyson, will you marry me?"

The younger prince almost passed out and the blonde had to catch him.

"I guess this wasn't the best time to ask that," he said sheepishly.

Loki just stared at him, trying to process everything.

"But...will you?" Thor asked again.

It took a few seconds before he jumped on his brother with a huge smile.

"Yes, oh my god, yes!"

Thor laughed and held him tightly. Then he picked him up and carried him to the bed.

"Let's get some sleep. Then tomorrow I expect some baby making."

Loki hit him playfully.

"We have to discuss that some more. I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"If you insist," the blonde told him, rolling his eyes.

"I guess it is your body and all."

They both laughed and Loki cuddled into the man next to him. Maybe things wouldn't stay this way, but for now everything was perfect.


End file.
